It is currently 1:53 am and for the past 4 hours I have been scouring the internet trying to make myself believe that I can be a backpacker. It has been a horribly difficult and uphill battle.
I never imagined myself backpacking South America. Especially not solo. Obviously, I had pictured spending the next year living in a comfortable apartment, working in a nice daily job and making a quasi-life for myself among the other six million Chileans. However, when I was suddenly faced without a travel partner, I had a couple of startling revelations. The first being: I do not want to spend a year in Santiago.
I have amazing friends in Santiago and I am sure that if I truly wanted, I could rent a nice room in a cute apartment and find a good job and settle down for awhile. But suddenly, that option just seemed so... unappealing. It was almost like it seemed too easy. After I had been bailed on, I felt like I saw the world so differently: I was so trusting and reliant on others and I lost what I really wanted in the shuffle. And what I really wanted was to say "screw it all, I want to backpack South America".
And now I have to somehow manage to prepare for a South American backpacking trip in the span of 2 weeks. This means insomniac-ridden nights researching everything on backpacking, learning how I can use a bandana for everything from a face wash to a bandage and weeping silently over my beloved shoe collection as I prepare to say farewell to all my beloved and cherished pairs.
By far though, the most stressful thing for me is deciding the "essentials": the items that I want to include on my however-long endeavor across this sprawling continent. I have poured over countless websites outlining the mandatory items to bring along. But for someone who views her clothing as her babies, and can remember the exact purchase date and location of each item, it is a mild tragedy to part with them. But at the end of the day, every backpacker's suggestion is to pack light.
When I spent a mere 30 days backpacking around Europe, I managed to fit my entire wardrobe into a school backpack. It was great not having to worry about a ton of items, a relief to not have to check constantly and easy to carry around. Surprisingly, I also managed to not wear all the items of clothing in my pack. Still, it is hard to realize all this when your beautiful closet is staring straight at you and all your precious babies are screaming "Take me with you!"
I realize how incredibly shallow this post makes me look. But in all honesty, my clothes are kind of my security blanket. Whenever I have one a great outfit (which I have, of course, spent this summer accumulating en masse) it just brightens up my day and makes me feel like I can rock it. Trying to adjust my mindset to embrace the "four pairs of t-shirts, two pairs of long-sleeves and two pairs of those weird pants that have 18 different pockets and zip off into shorts" wardrobe is definitely a struggle. What can I say, I am the generation of Clueless.
Another debate within the backpacking community is whether or not to bring your laptop and DSLR camera. Backpackers, especially solo backpackers, especially solo female backpackers, and especially solo female backpackers in South America are even more susceptible to being mugged. I have heard horror stories from travelers getting robbed in places from cabs to beaches. It almost seems like a rite of passage for the backpacker to get robbed. But one man's badge of initiation is another's most terrifying nightmare. I can barely walk through a parking garage without getting convinced that there is a masked serial killer determined to kill me in some weird satanic ritual (it probably does not help that I watch an unhealthy amount of Law & Order: SVU).
So, these are pretty much the thoughts that have been swirling around in my little noggin for the past 3 days, and inevitably keeping me awake into the wee hours of the morning. Anyone out there have any helpful suggestions or maybe a nice inspirational quote to ease my worries and mild IBS?
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